Friday, January 09, 2004

Love is Magical

There are plenty of magical things in this world. One of them is called LOVE. Love itself is magic. It breathes inside you, even though you might deny its existence. You forget it, then it appears on your door, smiling brightly than ever. It follows you everywhere. Protecting, caressing, nurturing.

Many times I love. Too much, even. I love many things. My partner, my parents, my family. My cats. My friends. My personal possessions. And I find it hard to let go. Truth is, love is not something you can hold on to forever. When it dissipates, then you have to pack all the loving memories in the crevices of your mind, cry if you must, then leave.

It has been a long, long, time but I still can't get over the fact that my ex-boyfriend betrayed me. I remember one old, silly song sung by Expose...

As long as the stars shine up in the heavens
As long as the rivers flow to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me

It's all over and done with. In fact he and I somehow have stopped communicating. Still, at times, I remember the betrayal, the pain I had swelling deep inside, the traumatic feeling of being suffocated and vulnerable. Five years with him led to nothing but searing pains and strange memories. It left a huge scar though invisible to the naked eye. A scar that throbs once in a while.

In a way I have to thank my ex. For now I have a loving, attentive partner. He taught me how to love again. How it feels to have someone you love nearby, supporting you. How it feels to dance in the skies, laughing in delight in ironies of life, especially mine.

They say, there is no night so dark that the morning will not come. And morning did appear again in my life, after nights of despair and sorrow. Morning came in many forms. In loving words and gestures given by a friend. In constant support from family that I love. In a man who is willing to share his life with mine.

Love makes you bleed yet it also heals. Like I said, I love many things, yet... many times I thought I didn't deserve to be loved. Now I know better. I have learned to love myself more. Thus, love flows more freely to my life, decorating my days with dazzling rainbows and glorious sunsets.

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