to cut or not to cut

Now I have the courage to cut my hair again. For many years I kept it long, reaching my waist. I was quite proud of it. I could tie it, plait it with scarves, colorful ribbons, flowery decorations. One of my lecturers nicknamed me Gypsy Girl because of this. She complimented me for having enough patience to keep my hair long. Indeed, it was quite difficult to manage my hair. I washed it twice a week. I almost never used hair-dryer. I let it dry naturally, which took about 2-3 hours at least.

Well, if only they knew the main reason...

I didn't cut my hair because I was afraid to.

Once, in my room, I was combing my hair when I saw a reflection on the mirror. A girl about my age, hair touching her neck, was floating in long, elegant, white gown. At first I thought it must be my maid. Yet some moments later I realized that it wasn't her. The girl in the mirror was fair while my maid was dark-skinned. Besides, my maid didn't have an outfit like that. So who was it?

I have seen many strange apparitions, but not like this. Usually I could see glimpses of things when I was dead tired. When I was about to drift to sleep. When I was sick and feverish. That time I was sober.

I decided to call my cousin. She could 'see' things. She told me that indeed, a spirit about my age resided in my house. And what a funny thing, she said, the spirit looked like me. I had nightmares about her, dying a terrible, violent death. But my cousin assured me, no, she died because of an illness. Up till now I find it hard to believe her... maybe she just didn't want me to be afraid.

After that I vowed to keep my hair long, much longer.

It's been years, though, and now I have moved out. So now my hair is reaching my neck again. I don't know why, but somehow... I feel.. in this new house, it's not wise to have my hair long.