Found an old notebook of mine containing my poems in the early nineties. Full of angst, fear and wonder. I can still remember the anguish and intricate feelings that I experienced. Fear of many things--but the main thing was, I feared that I wouldn't emerge as the real 'me'. Even then, my sense of individuality soared to the sky.
I longed to be unique. I am now.
I began to remember. In the past, I experienced many things that I considered unpleasant. Yet I didn't comprehend the reason why. I didn't really understand what the matters were. Now I do. And the pain swells, escalates, wrenching my heart tight.
Some ghosts in the past just wouldn't let go.
So I welcomed them.