Many people label me as an outgoing person. They say I am very open and friendly. I love to talk and listen, I'm willing to share many of my stories and experience.
You think the same, too?
If you had met me let's say, a dozen of years ago, you'd label me as the opposite. True, I'm not ashamed to admit that I don't consider my high school years as halcyon days. I didn't have many friends back then. I did not belong to the popular chicks group. I was not beautiful. I scowled most of the time--except in the presence of my best friends, and they were not many. I shared only fragments of my life, and to chosen few. Maybe that's why some people thought that I was arrogant.
I was not. Basically I was a shy person. (You might not believe me, but do let me continue for a while.) The thought of sharing a piece of me to others seemed so horrifying. Also, when I had nothing to say, I wouldn't try to open a conversation. I just kept my mouth shut. If I saw somebody that I thought I knew, I was not the type who'd approach her or him, then greet her or him. What if I made a mistake? How could I forget the shame?
I was pretty content being an unpopular girl. At least I had a best friend, and up till now we still communicate with each other. I dated a few boys, true, but I was never into a serious relationship. I fell in love with one guy, well, puppy-love, whatever you might want to call it. I fell for him because he sometimes called me to share his innermost secrets. I had a feeling that I was special to him. He and I have different religions and beliefs, so even back then I was content having this platonic love or crush to him, not daring to step any further. Still, it was a sweet kind of crush, and I cherished the memory greatly.
That time, I found many things that I liked to do (I still do), namely reading, writing, collecting things. I developed my English skills. I had a vision. Even back then I knew one day I'd day become a writer. A prolific one, if possible. Some of my classmates seemed to support me, but I had a feeling that they were laughing behind my back. Yes, I was that sensitive. A worry-wart.
But lately I realized that being unpopular made me feel ignorant to some things. Like, recently I found out that some people thought that I fell for a guy I'd call Momma's Boy (for he was, maybe still is, one). Knowing this, I am angry. I mean, I have always had a strong dislike towards Momma's Boy type. I consider them immature and weak for some reasons. But I did not have the chance to defend myself then, like I said, I was not aware of this. So people gossiped about me behind my back, about me chasing after this guy (ugh!) due to the fact that his ancestors and mine happened to come from the same place.
Come on! They all thought I was THAT shallow. Why would I choose a guy based on his race and origins? I have always had this thing for interesting, quirky, witty personality. And sorry to say, MB did not have these qualities. (My partner, thankfully, has all of these. God is really a wonderful being1 ^_^)
Yes, yes, triple yesses, I'm still mad. I could not change the past, meaning, popular guys and girls gossiping behind my back. I just want to say to all the people who knew me back then. The gossip IS NOT true.
THERE! I've said it. And boy, I feel much better now!
14 comments:
mbaak..toss dulu yuuk, secara yaya jg gak populer di sma, gak punya gank,seorang yg milih utk makan di kls kl jam istirahat drpd ke kantin.
Pokoknya enggak ngetop deh..hihihihi
Thanks GOD...been there done that...
*hugs yaya*
aku juga dulu seringnya bawa bekal dan makan di kelas, hehehe.
Hulaow mbak donna.
bisa bantu aku??
aku lg bingung banget.
novelku bersetting di jakarta. jelas lebih enak di kontrol n lebih idup.tp ga ada tantangannya. pengen kurubah settingnya jadi di australi. Entah di melbourne ato di mana geto. enaknya di mana ya
masih marah ya don! cuex aja, tambah dipikirin tambah banyak uban. dulu boleh jadi gak terkenal tapi sekarang kan beda ya nggak seh... (tapi kalau pikir2 juga, aku juga masih kesel tuh hehehe... ngomong lebih gampang daripada bertindak)
j'nie, maaf aku gak bisa bantu. semua itu terserah kamu... because you're the writer. :)
iya ti, masi gondok, aku. tapi biarlah. toh gak ada urusan ama mereka lagi, ya kan ti? :D
Momma's Boy gak jelek2 banget lah...hehehe..cuma perlu sering dijewer aja...hahaha
ok,, ga pa pa. mungkin yang segitu susah belom cocok buat aku. bikin yang mudah aj dulu. makasiy ya mbak ats sarannya. x)
perasaan dari dulu juga gua kaga beken di sekolah
tapi gue masih idup tuh sampe sekarang, hehehe...
*apa hubungannya sehhh*
*ah, masih error*
what about that other guy?
Lha, kok samaan ya? **naon sih? hehehe**
I was really uncomfy around people. Shy guy pisan Don, hehehe boro-boro bisa jadi popular student at school!
Baru sejak kuliah, rada2 membuka pergaulan. Dan ternyata ... dunia itu luas dan indah ya? hehehehe
hehe semua tergantung selera, na. :)
hannie.. btul sekaliii!
what other guy, treespotter? oh. you mean, my first love? he's living abroad at this moment. we rarely contact each other. but he knows i'm fine and i know he's ok. :)
aku juga baru banyak temen pas kuliah, mas iwok... itu juga lebih banyak temenan ama anak2 yang nggak sekampus. (loh!?) hehehe..
Ha..ha..ha.. Don... masih aja dendam, after all these years. Kau kan sekarang udah lumayan sukses dan terkenal, udahlah... let it be...
But it makes me wonder, dulu pas SMA aku termasuk ngetop gak ya? I guess I'd never really belong to the A, B, or C Group. Aku inget Dino sempet bialang ke aku, alasan dia bertemen dengan aku karena aku bisa jadi aksesnya buat ngorek info ke kelompok2 ngetop. Ha..ha..ha.. ada-ada aja.
Seingetku, dari dulu sampe sekarang pun, aku itu emang orangnya sok akrab, try to minggle with every groups (in all socio-economic levels), try to take benefit from each (but in a nice way, though), always the neutral one, the optimist one, the easy-going one.... Yah, untungnya sampe sekarang, aku masih bisa seperti itu. Biarpun aku gak pernah berusaha mempersatukan grup2 itu. Sampe sering satu orang dari satu kelompok bilang ke aku, "koq lo bisa sih nyambung sama si C, padahal...".
Tapi aku ngerasa juga kelemahannya. Aku jadi cenderung going with the flow, sehingga jarang punya prinsip yang orisinal.
win... dendam adalah dendam! sebagai pendendam kau pasti tau deh, hehe.
hmm, kalo cenderung going with the flow menurutku gimana orangnya aja, win. if it works for you, then it's ok. :)
betewe komen kau panjang kali win, mungkin udah saatnya kau punya blog sendiri! :D atau udah??
Geli deh baca postingnya alin. Tambah komentarnya Donna: "mungkin saatnya punya blog sendiri". Setuju!
NaNa
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