Sometimes We Forgot to be Grateful...

...for whatever we have. Some take things for granted, and some complain that life isn't being kind to them.

But such is life, isn't it? We deal with it. With everything thrown (or located) in front of us. We always have a choice. Would you prefer to grumble, wondering why oh why others seem to be happier than you are? Or would you like to send prayers of thanks? Because in spite of everything, there you are, still breathing, still given the chance to do good deeds?

Yesterday was a hard day for me. My son had asthma attack and it was quite horrible, my partner was quite shaken about it. We were preparing for the worst. Lack of sleep began to take its toll and I was dejected. Tired. I missed a couple of deadlines and I was afraid while caring for my son, my daughter might feel unappreciated.

On the way home from the hospital, I spotted someone selling roasted coconuts. (The coconuts are roasted for hours, about 6-8 hours, and then peeled while scorching hot. You will then drink the pulp and the water.) Supposedly, this is good for your health, especially when you have asthma. So I walked to that area and ordered two. A peddler selling tahu gejrot was walking to my direction, still carrying his wares (in two apparently heavy containers). He carried the containers using one pole, one end tied to one container. Remembering my partner who is fond of this dish, I stopped to order some. 

To pass the time, I asked him, "Where do you usually sell tahu gejrot?"

I noticed that he was young, really young. Early twenties, perhaps. He wore jeans that had seen better days and blue-white checkered shirt, with a faded greyish hat. He answered, politely, that he usually sold tahu gejrot in a certain place (he mentioned the name). I raised my eyebrows, because to me, it was quite far. About 2 kilometers away from the place where I stopped him. He was on his way home--which is about 2-3 kilometers more! And he made the journey on foot. Carrying two heavy containers on his shoulder. 

How much for one portion of tahu gejrot, anyway? Only IDR 6,000. Less than fifty cents (American currency). The portion is big, too.

I was stunned, it was like being slapped. Hard. There I was, feeling sorry for myself. And that man, cheerful and grateful because I was buying something from him, had heavier burden. 

Life can be difficult. And you can choose how to deal with it, appreciate or condemn it?

I have to thank the peddler. He reminded me that at times we have to embrace life one at a time. "Tomorrow, God will give me other blessings," so he told me. 

Amen.

Does Other People's Happiness Threaten You?

This is one of my ideas of happiness: reading a book, getting lost in webs of realities that great writers produce. 

To me, happiness is when you are content. Happiness is when others do not see you as a threat and leave you be, whenever you want to be alone. Happiness is when you can feel happy for others, even when you are not a part of it. Happiness is when others smile and congratulate you for being sunny, instead of belittling your joy.

 Never really thought about it. I am the type that can feel happy seeing people happy. Not once or twice, I am caught smiling wistfully watching somebody else who is clearly happy for no reason at all. Sometimes I see a couple staring at each other, holding hands. Once or twice I take notice of children, laughing, very carefree, while running in the field with their friends.

However, I have had my share of unfortunate encounter with people who like to ooze out negativity. Whenever I am happy, they like to utter comments (that perhaps they) intended to spoil my happiness. 

When I was small, I was happy because I got the perfect score of Indonesian. Somebody roller her eye and said, "It's not an important subject, anyway."

I remember, when I was a teenager. I have a new headpiece and I wore it proudly. Some asked why I was all smiles and I told them that Papa gave me the headpiece. One classmate of mine looked at me critically then exclaimed, "Don't you think it's a bit too childish?"

During my university years, I baked some brownies and gave them around. Many seemed to like it. But one looked at it critically and said, "Brownies make you fat."

When I was about to get married. My partner and I were so happy. We got along nicely and we were both ecstatic, we couldn't wait to get married. And then a distant relative said, "Ah, you shall see. When the wedding day becomes closer, you two will fight more and won't be so happy anymore." 

Spoilsports. They are everywhere. Sometimes I wonder, why can't you be happy when others are happy? Is it too much to ask?

I nearly forgot about this until tonight. We went out to have dinner and they have this kids' place where they can slide and climb stuff. It was deserted. So my kids went there and they were sooo happy. They laughed a lot and yelled while having fun. And then I started to see other kids joining, perhaps to find out what the fuss was all about. They didn't feel the same way, apparently, for they kept scowling. The other kids began to jostle them  and played it rough, until my daughter lost her smile a little. (Fortunately, my son remained OK and all smiles.)

Then it struck me. Could it be that your happiness somehow is threatening other people? Maybe some see you being so happy, on top of the world, and they feel miserable in return. Some say misery loves company, and some lack the compunction to hold their tongue, hence, the harsh words come out. And they have the potentials to hurt. 

This is just a theory of mine, based on what I've experienced and seen so far. How about you? Whenever you get something nice, be praised for something, do you meet people who comment negatively and ruin your mirth?