I Chose Aloneness Over Loneliness

Alone. Lonely. Similar words, but not quite. I used to feel both. I used to associate both words. I was alone, so that means, I was lonely. It took me some time to realize that I could choose either or even, neither.

I like being alone. Not all the time, but I do need my privacy. When I was a teenager I used to lock myself in my room. Being alone after a hectic day at school--meeting schoolmates and teachers, that was pure bliss. I could read a book, contemplate about Life and Love, rearrange my room. All by myself.

Loneliness struck me at odd times. I was the type who could feel extremely lonely amidst hundreds of people. In a party, at the theaters, on the streets. I looked at many people around me, so absorbed in their own lives, uncaring. Then pangs of loneliness assailed, inveigling me to further melancholy.

I wasn't alone. There were many people around me, yet... I couldn't help feeling lonely.
Then it dawned upon me. I could be alone and not lonely.

Aloneness is a wonderful thing. You savor every single thing on your own. This might sound selfish but I do enjoy being alone. It is my time to meditate, to delve into my very soul, where I usually find comfort and answers.