Someday My Prince Will Come...

Maybe every girl in this planet has this thought at least once. Well, I did. Years and years ago, when I dare to call myself foolish and naive, looking at the world with eyes wide open, expecting and hoping too much.

I thought of myself as a princess. And in fairy tales, princesses will eventually meet their princes. It made me wonder, who my prince would be? How would he look? How would he talk? Would he lead me to bliss and live together happily ever after? Would he wake me with a simple kiss? Would he ask me to try a glass shoe? Would he climb the tower using my hair, enticed by my beautiful voice? The list of questions kept on growing and growing. I deluded myself with silly, romantic thoughts and notions, oblivious to the fact that I was dealing with reality, not fantasy.

Now that I have grown I realize that there are princes, knights, kings, and many more. I can see the qualities in my loved ones. Andi Saptono is clearly a prince, bathed in radiance and light, an epitome of goodness. I'm sure he'd object to me saying this, for he often said that his path was located in the darkness. But I could look right into his heart. I know the truth. Dino Setiawan is a knight. He liked to fantasize himself as a black-armored knight. Sammy Halim, Alfatih, John Fernando are knights as well. I can picture their armors shining bright, their virtues well-known. It differs a bit in Nando's case, though. He is a bit like me, a meddling-watcher. My ex was a king. He likes to command, not liking the fact that sometimes he has responsibilities to take care of.

I also realize that I am not a princess. Dino Turino Setiawan said once that I was a handmaiden. Always willing to help and serve. That was close, but not quite. My partner said that I had some knight qualities. That's true in some ways. I used to admire Sturm Brightblade in Dragonlance. Only in recent years I noticed that Brightblade's honor seemed to be rigid and sometimes silly. Being honorable is good, but not too honorable. I want to have a long and happy life.

I am a healer. An advisor. A druid, even. I tamper with things, bending them to my will. In some ways my Quisalas and I are kindred spirits. For he is a jester. If I marry a king I might have a kingdom to rule. By marrying a jester I could rule the whole universe.