On Other People's Weddings and Mine

My partner and I attended three weddings last week. The first wedding, we came too late (9.40) for ijab kabul. My friend told me it would be done at 10 in the morning. However, they decided to do it at 9.15 and it lasted for about 10 minutes.

The second one, we arrived on time. To our annoyance we found out that it was about 45 minutes late. Other streaming guests were edgy as well, for I could sense hostility, weariness, and anticipation in the air.

The third wedding was even worse. It was an hour and ten minutes late. And they thought it would be best if relatives and dear friends took pictures with the bride and groom while the guests were waiting impatiently for the chance to shake hands or try the buffet.

Brides and grooms in the three weddings all looked tired and sullen. They smiled all right, fake little smiles that they hoped would humor the guests.

It's not surprising. Not at all. For my partner and I have been to many weddings and most brides and grooms were like that. Based on this, we decided to enjoy our wedding intensely for our sake and the guests'. And we certainly didn't want the guests to wait too long.

Our wedding was also late. 10-15 minutes. We decided to run (wearing tight batik and all) to the building. (from a small room where our make ups were being retouched. Yes. isman wore make up.) Before that, he came out of the room wearing beskap and all with shorts, for he wanted a quick visit to the bathroom, ignoring blatant stares from guests and relatives. We just wanted things to be done as soon as possible.

My brocade kebaya was making me itch. I was dying to get rid of my hairdo that weighed about ten tons and a hundred layers of powder and rouge. isman was battling with an insect that somehow managed to crawl inside his clothes. Yet we came out with winning smiles and sincere words to greet the guests. We really enjoyed everything. And we thought, most guests and relatives were pleased as well. (Not all, for we can't please everyone, can we?) That's very important.

It's just a matter of choice. So, to all of you out there who are about to get married, enjoy it. It's your day. One of the most memorable days in your life. Don't let anything hinder you to smile. People come to congratulate you, to utter their wishes and prayers. As the kings and queens of the day, it's only fitting for you to give sincere smiles to the well-wishers. What say you?