Friday, August 03, 2007

I Don't Like Your Works. Does It Mean that I Hate You?

Being a writer for most of my life taught me to be stronger and more humble. I have faced countless people who shower me with criticism (most of them are biased and unconstructive). My first reaction? Hurt. And disappointment. Yet after a while I could differentiate between positive feedbacks and unconstructive criticism. No matter how sad I am, I'll always take notice of the first, and ignore the latter.

Recently an acquaintance asked my feedback about her writing. She asked for an honest response, so I gave it to her. I have to say that her works need improvement. She needs to pay more attention to punctuation, diction and the like. Also, the story's plot is weak, characters are given scripts and they act as if forced.

She was angry at me. She accused me of being a snob, for not understanding.

I am tired of facing this kind of outburst. Yet I understand. I really do. When someone says that they hate my book, it is as if they slap a thick steel door in front of my face. It feels painful. Yet how can you force people to like your stories? You can't mess around with taste.

I have several friends who also happen to be writers. Sometimes I dislike their works. Does it mean that I hate them? Absurd.

How wonderful the world would be, if everybody understands this simple concept. I don't like your works DOES NOT MEAN that I hate you. I just dislike your creations, if you remain as a good buddy, will I have a reason to loathe you? Surely not!


Sandy Eggi said...

there is someone who dislike me because of my handwriting. :D what a nonsense!

well not experienced in writing stuffs. but had the same thing in my drawing or even my software code!

that's OK. part of job. don't get discouraged in those kind of stuff. it just that someone doesn't think the same way.

Primadonna Angela said...

that is weird, disliking someone because of one's handwriting? does that person happen to master graphology, by any chance? *just curious*

Sandy Eggi said...

one of my classmates in high school. i was the writer of the class (secretary ? the one who writes down lessons in blackboard when the teacher is lazy to do it). and he just got sick of it :D

martha said...

Yeah, it's dilemmatic isn't it? They ask us for our opinions, then hate us for it.

Yet, I understand... receiving criticism is hard and not everyone is good at it. Some are not mature enough to realize the difference between constructive criticism and disparagement.

wiwien said...

salam kenal!
i review books on my blog. usually i slam them and gave them big thumbsdown because they are trully awful in every aspects. but to my surprise, those authors never get upset or angry at me. they don't care bout it, because it's just a review, not a statement that "i hate you the same way i hate ur book!". i do not care too if people reviewed my books constructively or not. just like those teenagers say, it's just a review geto lochh...!

Primadonna Angela said...

haha.. at least it has nothing to do with graphology. when somebody seems to be interested in reading your handwriting then judging you solely through that, bewareee!

well said, martha.

salam kenal juga, mas wien. :) i bet most authors whose books you reviewed are mature enough--or at least they can control their emotions well. ^_^

yup, everyone's entitled to her own opinion, yet, to me, if somebody says my books really suck (without telling me why) i'll just choose to ignore it.

Candy said...

@Sandy : Well, if you are teachers like me and Martha, your handwriting may potentially damage our already-impaired vision -_-. Bad handwriting = health hazard.


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