On Being Beautiful

I remember one incident while I was still in junior high school. My close friends, Susan, Nengti, and I once discussed a very important matter in life.

Nengti: I wonder why? If you're a handsome man you're bound to be with a hideous looking woman. Look at this couple for example, A & B. The man is so handsome. And the woman? Bleh.
Me: True, it works for women, too. I mean, if you're pretty and beautiful and the like, most likely you'll end up with an ugly man. At least, a man whose looks isn't his main trait.
Susan: (nonchalantly) Ah, then it'll be my fate then. Too bad, I'll marry an ugly one. But you're very lucky, Ti! You'll end up marrying a handsome man!
Me & Nengti: (mouths open)

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It might be true. I wouldn't know. It took me years to finally acknowledge than I am indeed beautiful. Oh I used to believe that I was quite a beauty, but my relationship with my ex shattered my self-confidence. Whenever he praised me, he praised me for my intellect. For my common sense. For my ideas. Once in a while he did compliment me for my looks, but, absent-mindedly. He usually glanced at me, saying, "Yeah, yeah, you look beautiful. Can we go out now?" Things like that.

Five years with him was enough to believe that I was as plain as the trees on my backyard. The last straw was when he cheated on me, saying that the girl was beautiful even though she wasn't as smart as I was. Ohkay, maybe I wasn't his type, physically. But hey, I don't think I deserved such cruel words. Not only that man managed to break my heart, he also smashed my ego to smithereens.

I decided to leave him. Just like that.

So, anybody out there, if you have a partner that can make you feel special, cherish him or her with all your might. (S)he might not be your ideal type, but you're not perfect, either. Instead of reproaching, try appreciating her or him for a change. And I don't mean just the physical part, but also the soul underneath.