Sunday, February 15, 2004

Sometimes You Just HAVE to Choose Your Friends

Some people are so thick-headed that they do not realize how much others detest their presence.

Like this acquaintance of mine. We hardly know each other. The only thing in common is, we belong to the same mailing list. He has this tendency of trying to be extra-helpful. He acts as if he knows everything. Problem is, most of the information that he has is yesterday's news. He also likes to butt in into other people's conversation. Uninvited, naturally.

Even at our first meeting, he acted as if he was a dear friend. He hugged and kissed people, thinking that it was supposed to be funny and lovable. Just because we did it with our close friends. Well, how would you feel if someone you don't know suddenly act like he's your family? During conversations, he leaned over to people, almost cheek-to-cheek, not realizing that he was invading others' personal spaces. And he didn't realize that his behavior disturbed people.

We know that he will never be our friend. Because he simply doesn't care. All he cares about is himself. And assumes that people will love him just because he has something to offer. Information, anime or manga collection, or --God forbids--his presence.

isman and I decided not to invite him on our wedding. Most of our close friends don't feel comfortable with him around. Naturally we prioritized our close friends than this annoying man. Besides, we felt that it wasn't right to invite
people if we didn't mean it.

But that didn't stop him. He e-mailed me before the wedding, asking for the invitation. Silently I told him, well, who's inviting you? I didn't reply. I thought it was a delicate way in saying that he was not invited. Unashamed, he began gleaning information from isman's friends and mine about the exact location and time of the wedding. Our friends didn't give the information, of course, because they already knew what kind of a person he is. But we have to admit, he's as relentless as cockroaches. He found out that two of our friends were heading towards the train station. And suddenly, poof! There he was, waiting besides the train.

And since our friends are also the type who can't say no directly, they just gulped. We understood the pain as we saw their faces showing up in our wedding's day with Mr. Thickhead.

When he shook my hands he began showering me with words that I only listened half-heartedly. Many people were still queueing, yet he seemed to think that he had all the time in the world. I brushed him off with a curt note. He thought I was only joking. Needless to say I got quite furious and ignored him completely. He seemed to get the message (or it could be because the next guests were shoving him) and left.

The day after I wrote to the mailing list that I was happy for many good friends of ours came to the wedding, but the presence of a certain uninvited guest annoyed me. I wrote, stating candidly that, if I didn't send any
invitations through post, e mail, SMS, or phone, it meant that the person was not invited. I thought this was clear enough. Although I suspected Mr. Thickhead was not bright enough to realize that I was referring to him.

Then about a couple of weeks later he wrote an e mail, asking for the pictures of the wedding, proving my suspicion. Whatever gave him the idea that I'd willingly give him my wedding pictures? It was painful enough not to be able to literally kick him while the photographer took pictures of us and our friends because
1. isman reminded me not to let Mr. Thickhead ruin my mood. And,
2. I was wearing a tight-fitting batik.

I also didn't reply this mail.

And two days ago this guy e-mailed me again, asking how my life was, telling me stuff about his life that I had no desire whatsoever in knowing. And the worst thing is, he wrote as if he was a good friend of mine.

You're probably asking, why we haven't been direct with him? We know the pain of being rejected. That's one of the reasons why we've been refraining from doing it directly. But maybe, at least I, should stop being subtle.

People say that you can choose your friends but not your family. Well, not this one! Given a chance, he'll try to rob you of your choice. But enough is enough. The next time he contacts me, I'll be blunt.

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