I'm a mercurial person. Simply put, I'm moody. Sometimes my mood swings are so varied that I suspect myself for having bipolar disease. (I still do, in one of my "bad" days!)
The last several hours have been grueling to me. First, I was frustrated. I was about to do something, and WHAM BAM BAM! Everything I wrote seemed superficial. Shallow. Cheesy. It took hours before I could write a decent thing. And when I did, I felt elated. All the frustration, depression, insecurities, vanish in a half-blink of an eye.
I depend on my mood when I write, but I have learnt not to rely on them. Meaning, sometimes I have to whip myself for writing or concocting plots. I have to program myself, over and over again. I'm a writer, ideas are everywhere, if you don't write, it means that you are too lazy to do so. Etc. And so on.
Right now. I'm forcing myself to write something that I'd normally leave behind. If you're in doubt, scoot away--my usual motto--does not apply in this situation. I can be hard on myself, I know. I strive for perfection, yet I know I'm far from it. That is why I keep trying to shatter my comfort zones and find new, interesting things to do.
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